"What's Next?"


Writing/thoughts/opinions are my own.

President Bartlet: When I ask 'What's Next?' it means I'm ready to move on to other things. So, what's next?
-The West Wing

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    Posts tagged "valentine's day"
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    How to Love the One You’re With, Ver. 5.0: A nerd romance poem.

    When he reaches out to grab your hand
    as you walk through a crowded room, take it.

    Yes, the last few versions locked their affection away
    in 5 levels of WPA password codes. It’s true, that it felt
    like their palms only opened to try and spread your legs,
    but this new version might really be an upgrade.

    It’d be a shame to stay away, especially
    when he claims that his favorite thing about
    you is not the curves on your body but
    your goofy personality that makes him laugh.
    It’s cheesy, sure, but don’t sell yourself short.
    Don’t give up on this new operating system
    because you’re scared it won’t be compatible with
    the old programming the last few versions left behind.

    So yes, while you have become a master of setting up your
    own firewalls to keep him out, take your fingers off the keyboard.
    Do your best not to reach for the control-alt-delete of panicked shut
    down, but instead find the spaces between his digits and hold hands.

    Feel him anchor himself to you as a partner. Use this new sensation
    to override the memories off a hand grasping back of your neck
    instead. It seemed sexy, but the pup-by-the-scruff feeling only meant
    that you would never stand side-by-side, only behind.

    And when he runs his thumb along yours to make sure you feel safe,
    use that security to delete any of Trojan horses of confusion left behind
    by shaky hands who spray-painted a red line of
    disrespect down your back while you slept in his arms.

    Then, when he tells you that you are beautiful, recall sound waves
    of other voices who have told you the same. Do not delete those,
    use them to remember that you have both loved and been
    loved by someone worthwhile at some point, and just because you both
    chose to leave doesn’t mean neither of you were worthy of it.

    So yes, this version may have features you did not plan on, no
    Software is perfect, but take a moment to appreciate the new
    additions, the fixed bugs. Then, dig deep into your own system,
    and scroll through the 1011001 of your old binary coding.
    See the zeroes not as failures, but rather as pauses, breaths you
    Took to prepare you to try again. They are the swimming pools of childhood
    Summers where you rinsed yourself off before reaching your hand
    Up and grabbing onto a brand new 1. Ready to make this a version
    Better than ever before.

    Last year, I gave myself (and other’s) this challenge:

    This Valentine’s day, don’t just tell the people in your life “I love you.” Tell them “Thank You.” Tell them thank you for sharing part of your life experience with you, for the lessons they teach you, and for the love and light they bring to you.

    In that spirit, a short and incomplete list of things I am thankful for in this moment:

    • my fantastic family: parents who are hilarious, caring, giving, forgiving, and love unconditionally; a brother who is an overall amazing person and always makes me laugh; and a huge network of cousins, aunts, uncles, and my grandparents who always have my back.
    • amazing friends, who care, smile, make me laugh, and are hugely generous of spirit in dealing with me when I am not at my best (which is often)
    • my job, and the great people I work with and for
    • the corps members who I serve, who are a study in grace, strength, and grit as the pursue the best education they can for our kids
    • the feeling of the breeze coming off Diamondhead and into my window as I wake up
    • being consistently bathed in sunshine
    • yoga, for pushing me, challenging me, and showing me to love my body when I had to stop being a runner
    • peanut butter (no reason needed, clearly)
    • finally, my awesome God and father. For loving always, with such an amazing magnitude that I can’t even understand, and for consistently raining down blessings and grace.

    I am so blessed. Happy Valentine’s Day.

    GratitudeRecently, I’ve come to realize that one of the best ways I can show love is to tell someone that I’m thankful they are in my life…

    That’s how I started off the entry in my Gratitude journal a few nights back, one of the daily journals I (try to) write in each night.

    So, for this Valentine season, I decided to spread the love in my life with a bit of thanks. I sent out thank you cards to some of the people that have just been there for me this past month, or just been a big/important/special/caring part of my life. They weren’t well written, and there weren’t nearly as many as them as I could give out (I have strangely small hands and bad penmanship, so my hand gets tired pretty fast). Still, I just wanted to let them know that, no matter what, they meant something to me. I hope it brings a smile to their day when they get it.

    Anyway, I wasn’t even sure if even I wanted to post this, since patting myself on the back about it was absolutely the opposite of the point of this exercise(I was worried it would come off a little “Let me be AMAAZZINNNGG at you." (- Tina Fey, Bossypants)). Definitely not my intention.

    However, I really liked the idea, especially for those searching for meaning in the day. I just thought I’d put it out there as a thought:

    For this Valentine’s day, don’t just tell the people in your life “I love you.” Tell them “Thank You.” Tell them thank you for sharing part of your life experience with you, for the lessons they teach you, and for the love and light they bring to you.

    Every day, I’m so lucky that I have these people, all my friends and family, in fact, to make me laugh or to take care of me. I am consistently so blessed, and they are a very big part of why.

    Sadly, someone I love who will not be getting a card will be Cat. I do pick him up like the big baby he is and cradle him at least twice a day though, so hopefully that makes up for it.


    Anyway, it’s been a rough weekend. Expect to see a post about losing a great man and father figure to me, Fr. Fred, at Corpus Christi. I have no doubt he’ll be moving on to great things and get to transform the life of another parish, but I’m a bit heart-broken to see that part of my life end change.

    In spirit with what he taught me, though…

    To any of you that might stumble on this blog this season: blessings your way, light your way, and remember, above all, you are loved.