How to Love the One You’re With, Ver. 5.0: A nerd romance poem.
When he reaches out to grab your hand
as you walk through a crowded room, take it.
Yes, the last few versions locked their affection away
in 5 levels of WPA password codes. It’s true, that it felt
like their palms only opened to try and spread your legs,
but this new version might really be an upgrade.
It’d be a shame to stay away, especially
when he claims that his favorite thing about
you is not the curves on your body but
your goofy personality that makes him laugh.
It’s cheesy, sure, but don’t sell yourself short.
Don’t give up on this new operating system
because you’re scared it won’t be compatible with
the old programming the last few versions left behind.
So yes, while you have become a master of setting up your
own firewalls to keep him out, take your fingers off the keyboard.
Do your best not to reach for the control-alt-delete of panicked shut
down, but instead find the spaces between his digits and hold hands.
Feel him anchor himself to you as a partner. Use this new sensation
to override the memories off a hand grasping back of your neck
instead. It seemed sexy, but the pup-by-the-scruff feeling only meant
that you would never stand side-by-side, only behind.
And when he runs his thumb along yours to make sure you feel safe,
use that security to delete any of Trojan horses of confusion left behind
by shaky hands who spray-painted a red line of
disrespect down your back while you slept in his arms.
Then, when he tells you that you are beautiful, recall sound waves
of other voices who have told you the same. Do not delete those,
use them to remember that you have both loved and been
loved by someone worthwhile at some point, and just because you both
chose to leave doesn’t mean neither of you were worthy of it.
So yes, this version may have features you did not plan on, no
Software is perfect, but take a moment to appreciate the new
additions, the fixed bugs. Then, dig deep into your own system,
and scroll through the 1011001 of your old binary coding.
See the zeroes not as failures, but rather as pauses, breaths you
Took to prepare you to try again. They are the swimming pools of childhood
Summers where you rinsed yourself off before reaching your hand
Up and grabbing onto a brand new 1. Ready to make this a version
Better than ever before.