"What's Next?"

Insanity

Insanity, Day 5. Totally loving it, definitely tired, but also lost 4 lbs in the last four days. Have also cut my calorie count down like whoa.

Old meal schedule:

Breakfast: Muffin, Yogurt, Applesauce, Tamale or whatever the fuck was in the breakroom
Lunch: Tamale, Whatever was in the break room, or nothing. Or leftover pizza.
Dinner: Bertolli’s/Cheeseburger/Pizza/Torta

New Meal Schedule:

Breakfast: Fat Free Yogurt, GNC BeHot Supplement
Lunch: Chicken Breast sandwich on wheat sandwich thins, or salad with Salmon
Dinner: Tea and Sandwich, mini pizza (made with sandwich thins), or salmon with salad (tomorrow, though, I get to carbo load for my 1/2 marathon!)

Ok, I’ll admit it, I’m hungrier than I was before. But I’m also more energized, more tone (ESPECIALLY in my legs, goddamn) and happier. :D

Maybe Pics at the end of two weeks?

BTW, my dream body:

don’t know if I’ll ever get there, but it’s something to dream of… :)

In The Beginning, There Was SQUISHY.

So I started the Insanity fitness program today. Just the fit test.

Now, I really want to beat myself up about my performance, but I have to remember that a) I’ve eaten very little these past few days and b) I’ve been very busy.

Oh and also, c) I ran 3 miles before I did it.

Fit Test, Day 1, Results:

Switch Kicks: 105 
Power Jacks: 58 
Power Knees: 100
Power Jumps: 30
Globe Jumps: 10 reps= 40 jumps
Suicide Jumps: 11 (holy God, hardest thing EVER.)
Push Up Jacks: 13 (what the hell)
Lower Plank Oblique: 60…ish (I’m not sure how great my form was. I’ll need to try in a mirror next time I’m at a gym)

God though, was it hard!

Some before pictures. Making it linked instead of posting, since I’d rather not just have me in a bikini staring at you. Password is: WhatsNext (in case my students ever find the photobucket. Which I doubt):

Front view

Side View

Not, terrible, but I REALLY REALLY want to get toned. And get to what my after pictures will be!

Tears and Teacups.

Sandy: [in letter] Oh Katie, why do people lie in a perfect life? Why do people cheat when they are in love and unbearably happy? I loved holding you at night, I loved talking with you at four in the morning, and I loved you when we made love. I loved what you allowed and how open your heart was…

Katie: You’ll go find him.

Anton: That’s a terribly bad idea…

Katie: I’m not begging…You owe me this. This is what I require…don’t you understand? I miss my husband. I miss him. I need him.



Anton: A newspaper never really sufficiently tells the real story of a tragedy— how could it? We live in something called an “information age”, but not in an age of meaning. Somehow all the intelligence is scrupulously drained on its way to us and when it reaches us it is bleached and sterile. But the real story is made up of awful, quiet moments. Late night silences. Tears and teacups. Wordless drives on hidden roads, all alone. The real story is made up of privacy, and ancient sorrows, and bright lights in empty lots. Not recent events, it is in fathers and mothers and muffled sounds in hidden rooms and what is forgotten.

— The Paris Letter, Jon Robin Baitz

I know this play is considered “overwritten”, but even if it has no tangible connection in my life, it always hits me on some level.

Green Knights

dearoldlove:

I still want to tramp across the British Isles with you and find all those places Gawain passed through.

blah blah so this is the new year blah blah

I’ve had these thoughts in my head for a few days, but it seems that it could only come into fruition on Dec. 31st.

In truth, I’m incredibly excited about 2010. 2009 wasn’t particularly bad for me in any way. In fact, I loved alot about 2009. I had another wonderful year with my boo, got to live with my bffers (and laugh at all the haters), and wrote my undergrad thesis (most likely the catalyst for my PhD thesis). I started running, and pushed myself farther than anyone (including myself) thought I could go. And I started the career I’ve dreamt about since I was 15. Not that it hasn’t been hard— teaching was (is) hard. Losing Caro to NY was hard.

I think, though, that all the good things about 2009 is what makes me excited for 2010. Never have I felt more sure about what I want, what I need, and what makes me happy. More important, though, never have I been less sure of my own potential. By which, I mean that many of the limits I’ve placed on myself have been torn away. A year ago, I thought I wasn’t a runner. A year ago, I was scared I wouldn’t be able to stay with TFA, since every other job I’ve ever had I’ve left when I’ve gotten bored.

I’ve come to realized, now, that the measure of my potential is really simply the measure of my own determination. My own potential stops only when I throw in the towel. And so many aspects of my own life fall into this. After that terrible run the first time I got home (which, I didn’t realize, I tried to do in the middle of battling a cold), I saw that what really did me in was that I chose to stop. I chose to fall back. Only when I went back did I realize that, if I really want to achieve this goal, then I just can’t get off the treadmill. It might me walking a little, stopping to take a water break, whatever, but if I really want to make it till the end of the run, I’m not getting off that fucking treadmill or track till I finish, dammit.

Teaching, I’ve also realized, is really the same way. The realization that I have to see my students in four days is not exactly… exhilirating. Or exciting. But I’m on this two year contract, dammit, and I’ve got these kids for another 6 months before winter break, and I ain’t leaving till I’m finished (where I will most likely happily swim away to a PhD program).

Anyway, this post has been long and weird. If you made it to the end— congrats. I’ll see you in 2010.

Oh wait, requisite resolutions:

1) Love more

2) Hate less

3) Lose 15 lbs, run as much as humanely possible.

4) see the good in all, be the best teacher I can

5) read as much as I can