if comparison is the thief of joy
then when you spend hours
falling down your rabbit’s hole of
all the what ifs and joys
of another’s world
you need only to
open your own page
hold your own book to the mirror
and see you have pages of pages
sunkissed and rainbow-filled
of rabbit-hole-worthy moments
so find a thief’s joy
in comparing your momentary bleakness
in the happiness of your reality
the joy of your being itself
for we are all made of star stuff
and that is beauty enough for us all
We’re still calling that a thing right? Because my life feels like it’s in shambles right now for no reason at all (really, everything is good) and I need a scapegoat.
Basically just tell her Tiffany can do what she wants and it’s not her business who Tiffany goes to Homecoming with, just be chill with dude and Tiffany going to homecoming together if Tiffany says yes. If she’s still being harassing, call her out. It’s none of Shannon’s business.
Kylie just did what all middle/high school teachers do, and with sass and class: dissolve drama.
Hey there, 27. Didn’t see you sneak up on my like that. That’s okay. Things have been really crazy for me, so I haven’t had as much time to prep for your arrival.
I think that’s okay, though. Last year, I promised myself I would be more joyful (yes, I reflect on each year, set goals, and then reflect on those goals. Because TFA is a cult of ideas that I still have not broken out of. Here’s 26¸ 25 part 1, 25 part 2 and 24).
I think, I hope, I moved in that direction. A large part of that promise to 26 was fulfilled when I decided to leave my job at TFA. Coming back to the classroom fills me with such joy each day— even days when I’m tired and over it— and has allowed me to refocus on what I want. I mean, it’s October, admittedly one of the worst times to be a teacher, and while the struggle is so real, my kids continue to crack me up and and baffle me with their hilarity, smarts, and wit.
Last year, I wrote that midnight came on my birthday surrounded by my family and wonderful boyfriend. This year, midnight came and went and I was sound asleep, a belly full of a delicious dinner and the sound of laundry that boyfriend was doing burbling in the background. Comfort, happiness, stability. Joy.
I’ve lived most of my life at a whiplash pace. I’ve always been focused on what needs to be better. What can improve? What didn’t work? I have spent midnights with boys wondering how I could make things better, spending nights drinking too much, partying in places I didn’t want to be in because it seemed like what someone my age should do.
I don’t regret that. I don’t dislike that. I have had some amazing nights start because someone encouraged me to push myself out of my comfort zone. I think that was a good way to live in the past, and that sense of urgency is what has gotten me further along in my life than I might have gone without it. There are experiences I may not have had and regretted later.
On the eve of my birthday, though, I had an interesting thought. I was at dinner, and my sweet guy reminded the restaurant that it was my birthday and had told them (look, we like free stuff, we like dessert, I ain’t ashamed). What would I get? Cake? Green tea ice cream? BOTH?!
Out came a scoop of vanilla with a small candle. The server lit the candle, said “Happy Birthday!” and left.
Now, I don’t take my birthday particularly seriously, and lots of people singing to me freaks me out, so I didn’t mind. I do love dessert though, and while I like vanilla fan, it’s not necessarily my favorite.
Still, I smiled, blew out my candle, and took a small bite.
“Mmm,” I surprisedly murmured as the vanilla hit my tongue. Creamy. Not too sweet, and the earthy sense of it being vanilla bean, “this is GOOD vanilla.”
Much like the rest of my life, I am one of those girls who wants 30 million different flavors in my ice cream. Rocky Road. Oreo Peanut Butter Cup (it’s a thing at Baskin Robbins and it’s pretty great). For years, I’ve been overlooking the delight that is just a really good scoop of vanilla ice cream.
So. 27. A few days late, because I’ve been living my life so much more internally than externally and on social media. This year, I want to just enjoy the fruits of my labor. 27 is the year I want to love things as they are, as much as I can. I am finally in a place I love, at a job I love, surrounded by so much people-love. I by no means want to put down my social-justice-sword or seek out things I really want, however I think that a year to also remember how much good I am encompassed by and how really blessed I am. I also know it could all go to hell and a hand basket tomorrow. I can’t control what happens next, but I hope I can at least enjoy it as much as I can.
So, to 27: here’s hoping I remember that, even at its most simple, my life is still a really good scoop of vanilla. Lots of times, though, I’ll probably throw on some rainbow sprinkles too.
Shit happened to Ferguson is happening in Hong Kong right now!
Students were just protesting peacefully for genuine democracy around Admiralty and Central, yet the police forced used pepper spray, tear gas and violence to disperse the crowd. According to the protesters, the police even raided a first aid booth with pepper spray.